3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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