No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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