I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
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