who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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