I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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