I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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