1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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