The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
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