I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
