There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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