She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Randomize
