I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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