I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Best friends brother. Beat that.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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