Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
