Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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