Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Randomize
