How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
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How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
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nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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