Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
