I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
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