At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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