Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Duck Duck Cougar?
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
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