but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
