My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Randomize
