Me. At least after what I've been through.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
