his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
