If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
