I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I just googled if crying burns calories
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
