how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
And then my night got REAL pukey
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize
