His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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