I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize