I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
