im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
