im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
