Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
