pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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