Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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