let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
