I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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