Quick, to the slutcave!
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
