But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
