Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
