what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
There are leaves in my underwear?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
