the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
