I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
