im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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