You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
