if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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