kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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