this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
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