I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
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