I just made out with a guy for $7.
...so i touched it.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize