I'm really into asian looking animals
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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