Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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