im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
