you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
