plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
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It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
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