Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
