you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
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