At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
