what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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