Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
that's an acceptable place to lick
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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