No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
