did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
