Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
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You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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