There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
