I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
