so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Randomize
