I think scott just propositioned me for sex
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
