Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
