Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
